A Separate Peace Coming of Age

  I have come to the end of the book A Separate Peace  by John Knowles. By the end of the book Finny dies. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the ending of the book, taking in account that it's a coming of age novel. Like in real life not all conflicts end with a happily ever after, or with the conflict being fully resolved. In the second half of the book Finny returns to Devon and slowly Gene becomes an extension of Finny. Finny can no longer do the things he used to and now he does those things through Gene. Finny and Gene have a difficult time growing up and I believe it's because they hold each other back from seeing what's really going on outside of their school Devon. Finny denies the fact that WW2 is going on and fails to realize that the world isn't full of peace and joy. Maybe he wanted to be isolated from that and create his own separate peace where no war took place in. As they both get wrapped up in their own world reality hits them. Brinker brings them together to make Finny realize what really happened the night he fall of the tree. There he realizes that Gene was the one that shook him off he runs off mad falling on the stairs and breaking his leg once more. Everyone thinking that he would be o.k, he dies when Dr.Stanpole was operating his leg. Before he dies he forgives Gene although I have questions about whether he truly forgave Gene or just forced himself to forgive him because losing his friendship would cause him a greater pain.

  By the end of the book to me it's unclear what Gene's prospective of the world is. By the end of the book he realizes that there's a war going on, a war that he will soon be a part of after all the time he spend refusing to believe it. I truly believe that all this time he was aware of that fact, he just didn't want to believe it because Finny didn't want to believe it. Once he admitted it  it wasn't a big shock for him because the war he was truly fighting was over. The war between himself, thinking it was against Finny. There was never a war between Finny and him. Maybe it was the fact that Finny was genuinely innocent. Maybe it was because of his disarming personality. Finny never had a enemy he was the exception to Genes theory that everyone in life encounters an enemy. Someone to fight with to get the childish idea that the world is a peaceful place.Through the story Gene was able to find himself although Finny would always be part of him.

   What I also found interesting is that the book didn't just end with Genes theory of life, but possibly with what Finny's theory could have been or at least what Gene thought Finny represented. At the end of the story Gene mentions how Finny was never afraid, never hated any one. When everyone had an enemy. Perhaps he was the hope that over time people would evolve into not having to see an enemy to fight against and become better people. Maybe there is a hope that there will be a world full of peace.

  I found this to be a good book because it ends with the character Gene still growing as a character. Coming up with these perplexed theories about the world. This book has two characters where for most of the book they coexist. But yet they have a total different outlook on life. Even though Finny died he will forever be part of Gene. this book has taught me that even when you pass your coming of age point there are more questions you have about the world. You keep building on to the theories you have made so far. So in actuality there is never an end to your coming of age. Once you realize what is really happening in the real world, you grow wiser and the ideas or theories you once had can change over the course of time.

A SEPARATE PEACE

  As I was looking through the choices of coming of age novels, A SEPARATE  PEACE by John Knowles caught my eye and I decided that would be the book I would read. When I read the first few pages I was disappointed, as I read on it got better. The story takes place in 1942 during WW1,and is told by Gene, who had a complicated friendship with his best friend Finny. Gene was the friend with the brains and Finny the friend with the great athletic abilities, who feared nothing in the world, and had the disarming personality. Gene goes mad because of Finny's disarming personality, leading him to push Finny off a tree and breaking his leg. Don't get it twisted, Gene did not mean any harm, he had just had enough of it. Gene tells Finny the truth about what happened on the tree. Finny denies the truth saying that that's not true Gene couldn't do such a thing they were pals. Of course deep inside he knows what Gene said was true.

   The incident at the tree was where Gene came to really realize  that something was not right in his friendship with Finny. There was no more denying it. The fact that he was able to confront Finny about the real intentions he had shocked me. Gene believed that it was Finny's right to know what really happened that day. He would not be able to look at him in the eyes if he hadn't spoken up.  I was also very proud of him. It was already a sign of him growing.
  

  What I found interesting is how Finny discarded the truth and believed that Gene did not want to push him off the tree, that it was all an accident. Deep inside he knew that wasn't true. He had known Gene all his life and found it hard to lose his great pal. It would be hard to lose part of himself, so he believed what he wanted to believe. I also found it interesting how Finny's absence at school helped Gene understand what he was feeling inside, it gave him time to reflect and grow. Gene realized that Finny wasn't a person that couldn't be broken down. He realized that Finny needed him just as much or more then he needed Finny. One could not be without the other. He understood that now. There was never really a competition between the two of them. They pushed each other to out do themselves. With Finny having  broken leg he could not participate in all his sports and of course he could not participate in the Olympics like he dreamed he would. to fulfill his dream he told Gene that he would take his place in sports. he said it like he just expected for Gene to say yes. In the end Gene did not refuse. Gene now felt that Finny would live through him and that was his purpose in life.

   

  John Knowles does not provide a mentor for Gene in this book, like in many other books. This makes it relate able to many people, not everyone has someone that they can confide in. everyone goes through a coming of age but everyone has a different journey. Gene's has a lot of questions and doubts about the situation he is in, just like everyone else. Only difference is that he has to come up with the answers himself. There's no one to guide him. He can make make up answers to his questions and they may turn out to be wrong it's all part of the process. I guess what I'm trying to say is that coming of age is different for everyone.

It's Not Summer Without You

  Not to long ago, I started reading It's Not Summer With Out You by Jenny Han. When I picked up the book I thought it would be really cheesy,and girly. I started reading and it was o.k when I got deeper into the book it was pretty good. It's about a girl named Belly, she's trying to get over the death of Susannah a close family friend, who she thought of as a second mother, also her mothers best friend. Belly is also trying to mend a broken heart, and Susannah's children Conrad and Jeremiah, the boys Belly has grown up with are in the dumps because of their mothers death. Conrad, the boy Belly is in love, and trying to get over, is in self destruction mode and goes missing. Belly wants to find him but doesn't want to face him because of the things she said to him at his mothers funeral.

  

  I think that Belly is still not seeing the whole picture. Conrad does love her,but she has to understand that his mother was extremely sick and has recently died, there for he has lost part of himself and needs time to recuperate because obviously not everything is gonna be the same anymore. The real person hurting from all of this is Conrad. Belly treated him badly at his mothers funeral by telling him to go to hell. That's just something you don't do. She should have been there for him, and be his rock. She was suffering from Susannah's death as well it was both of there jobs to be there for each other. Making the scene at the funeral was uncalled for. Conrad didn't go after Belly after she walked away because it must have been hard to lose his mother losing his love was probably something he just couldn't deal with.

   By the way Conrad was acting I can see why Belly would think that Conrad has lost interest in her. Conrad is in his first year of Collage and she's still in high school, so I can also understand why be insecure. In that circumstance there's a possibility that he could be cheating, but it's not the case. His mother has passed away he can't think straight he's completely out of it. Right now he feels like his life has lost meaning. Being the older brother, and his dad crying every night he probably feels like he can't show his emotions. One, because he doesn't want to make it harder on his father, and two because he probably feels like he has to be strong for his younger brother. Him being in collage too must make it more stressful because of all his classes as well.  With everything going on Belly can't think straight either. She feels like Conrad has lost interest in her because he seems distant,but that's normal because of what just happened to him. If she really did love she would be mature about it, after all he is older than her and might see things differently. She can't just think like a high school girl. She has to let him be he knows what he is doing. If he left it was because he needed to think things through.

  I haven't had any close family members die in my family. My grandpa dies but I was to little to remember him now. If I was in Conrad's place I would be lost in my own world. I would be distant from everything and everyone around me. I can't have that same connection to him because I've never had to go through that experience. To anyone that knows or has gone through something like that you gotta know that life goes on. It's o.k to feel lost, and distant from everybody. One just has to know that the person that you love and still love wouldn't want you to mope around the rest of your life, but to continue and learn that life is short so appreciate it. Thing's always come to an end,it's just the way life is.

Behind the scenes

  When I found out that we would be watching Romeo and Juliet, I just thought great (-_-). I hnad previously watched the movie and to be honest I didn't think it was very good. But once we watched it in class I saw the movie through new eyes. Mainly because I was now familiar with Shakespeare's style of writing and was able to understand the context of the story. The movie it's self was helpful to visually see and understand what was happening.
  Just like Shakespeare's writing there was foreshadowing in the movie as well.  When we got introduced to Juliet in the scene where she is underwater, to me it seemed odd to introduce a character like that. It seemed like she was drowning, and the dark blue background colors gave a kind of weird, sad, depressing kind of mood. Yet if you think more about it, this scene was foreshadowing Juliet's death. In fact Juliet was a victim of the feud that had being going on between Romeo's family and her own family.
 There was also another scene where romeo was underwater as well. He went into the bathroom to wash the drug effects off, like Juliet it seemed like he was drowning as well. This again this is  foreshadowing Romeo's death. Not only that, but it symbolizes that they both die for the same reason, I can say this because both these scenes are paired together.(very similar)  He like Juliet were both victims of their family's ancient grudge.

  While I was watching the movie this didn't really go through my head it's very easy to not notice small intentional craft moves you see in a film. Then again it's complicated to understand Shakespeare's language and it must be more difficult to translate the his work to a modern society without taking out the deeply meaningful parts of his work. 





  

  

Beyond What One Can See

I just started reading the book Skinny by Ibi Kaslik. When  I picked out the book and read the blurb I got an idea that the story was going to be cliche. About a girl named Giselle struggling with anorexia and her and her family struggles. As i read the first few pages i was perplexed with what was going on. I realized that once I read the first page of the book I was literally in Geselles' mind. I kept reading and after the first 10 pages I could not put the book down.

Even though I'm not that far into the book I have learned a lot about Giselle and her younger sister Holly. Giselle is struggling with anorexia, yet she is acting very childish. I think this is just a way to cover up the real pain she's feeling inside. I think this because she knows the pain she is putting her mother in, and feels bad for it, but continues to act the same way. I also think that Giselle is acting childish to get attention, attention that she has always craved from her father but never got, and never will get. Why you ask? Well because he's dead. He died of a heart attack. Her father never had that special bond that he and her younger sister Holly had. He would treat Holly like a baby gave her special attention. Yet he would only acknowledge Giselles presence when she did something wrong and yell at her. When he was done yelling at her he would turn his back to her and give the rest of his attention to Holly.

 That's also another reason why i think that Giselle is acting childish because of her younger sister Holy. Maybe by her acting this way she will satisfy that craving for the attention her sister would get. Her dad though I think is what really brought her to the point where she became anorexic. Always trying to please him but never being good enough for him to love her back the way she did. I think the only reason she wants to become a doctor ever since she was little is because her dad was  a doctor. Maybe she thought that would make him proud and finally have that bond together. But that feeling that she wasn't good enough to deserve her fathers love  ( someone that's suppose to love you unconditionally)took over her. Made her think well if I'm not good enough for my own fathers love then how am I going to be good enough for anybody else. I can relate to her because to be honest me and my own dad don't have that close connection. It really does suck. But her dad is dead now there's nothing she can do to change that. I wonder if she understands that.  Right now i just have a lot of ideas running through my head about this Giselle, I can't wait to keep reading. Imma have to wait because it's 12 and i should go to  sleep ughh.







 

Mentors

Rereading some of these blog post gave me new ideas on how to revise and enhance my own blog post.

For example Daiy's blog post http://pickedappraiseddone.blogspot.com/2011/01/bukowski-is-pure-genious.html#comment-form
 Daisy does a very good job of writing in her own voice. When I read her blog post  I don't feel like I'm reading, I feel like I can hear her talking to me instead. I feel like I could improve on that. Sometimes I find my self writing very formal and to be honest it makes my blog post boring. I feel like I have to write formally because I know a teacher is going to look at it.  Besides it's keeps the reader interested on what your writing about. Writing in your own voice also gives your blog post that "unique" touch to it which makes your post that much better.

http://untoldstoryinsideyou.blogspot.com/2011/01/too-much.html?showComment=1297121083349#c4289788853503233134

  Zarrin really is a amazing writer! She has the ability to write extensively and is able to make it all very interesting. She gets straight to the point without giving away things from the book. Every time I read her blog post she keeps me at the edge of my seat. The way she formats her writing and puts it all together comes to great blog post. Her chose of words also makes her reading intriguing

http://gabyysblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-new-friends.html#comment-form

 I really enjoyed  Gabby's poem. She's a really good writer, that got the point across in a short poem yet was able have a meaning full message instilled in it.  Sometimes all you need to be is straight forward with your audience. Gabby was able to make the reader think deeply about her poem, because everyone could relate to the situation she was talking about. Using something your audience can relate to also calls for a successful blog post.

Strange =/

 As I lay in this bed I wonder what will become of me
I sometimes feel like I should give in to whats killing me
When I sleep I get nightmares
So at night I stay awake with my eyes wide open
terrified I won't ever open them again
I try very hard not to give in
But something is tying me down to this bed
Feel like everything for me has come to an end
There's an angle ready to carry me away
Far,far away
But I'm not leaving with out a fight
I may be weak in this bed
but i will fight till the end
I won't give in this easily

Turning Gray

Agony

by Cesare Pavese 

I’ll wander these streets until I’m dead tired,

I’ll learn how to live by myself, how to meet the eyes

of each passing face and remain the same woman.

This coolness that rises, reaching into my veins,

is a truer awakening than any I’ve felt

at morning: the only thing is, I feel stronger

than my body, and the morning’s edge is colder than ever.

The mornings when I was twenty are gone.

Tomorrow, twenty-one: tomorrow I’ll walk down the street;

I remember each stone, each wide strip of sky.

Tomorrow people will start to see me again,

and my head will be higher and I might even pause

to glance at myself in the windows. Other mornings,

I was young without knowing it, not even aware

that it was me walking by, that I was a woman,

my own woman. The skinny child that I was

awoke from a wail that had lasted for years:

now it’s as if that wail never happened.

And all I want now are colors. Colors don’t cry,

they’re like waking up: tomorrow the colors

come back. Each woman will walk down the street,

each body a color—even the children.

And my body, dressed in a frivolous red

after so much pallor, will get its life back.

I’ll feel the gazes of others gliding around me,

and I’ll know that I’m me. And glancing around,

I’ll see myself among people. Every new morning

I’ll walk down the street, looking for colors.

   As I read the following lines

"I was young without knowing it, not even aware

that it was me walking by, that I was a woman,

my own woman"

 from the second stanza a vivid image popped into my head. I saw a young girl walking past a mirror, as she passed by it, a reflection didn't appear. As if she wasn't there, invisible to everyone and everything around her. Once i re-read the poem a second time, i got a deeper idea of what Cesare Pavese was trying to say.  To me what Cesare Pavese was trying to get across is that you're your own person. You can do what ever it is you put your mind to. You have to remember who you are, what you believe in and what you stand for. You can't live your life by just trying to get through your obligations and responsibilities, there's more to life than that. After all life is a gift and you have to make the best out of it. Life is always going to knock you down, but when it does you can't fade into the background. You have to get back up and hold your head up high. If you don't it'll be to late you'll realize how much time you have wasted and regret it.

 The first three line of this poem is also what made me pick it for this blog post.

"I’ll wander these streets until I’m dead tired,

I’ll learn how to live by myself, how to meet the eyes

of each passing face and remain the same woman " 

  As i read these lines i could literally  imagine a women with a blank look in her eyes just passing by, as if she was a ghost. People just passing through her, yet she seems untouched as if the people weren't there. But then she says "This coolness that rises, reaching into my veins, is a truer awakening than any I’ve felt at morning: the only thing is, I feel stronger than my body, and the morning’s edge is colder than ever" Something inside her changes. She feels stronger than her own body, from then on she isn't going to be the same woman because "Tomorrow people will start to see me again," and "the skinny child that I was awoke from a wail that had lasted for years:now it’s as if that wail never happened " She has made her mind the agony is over, she can't continue to be the gray person that she was. She wants to be in the colorful world where " Colors don’t cry "

 When I first read the poem it didn't make much sense to me, but after re-reading it a few times i realized that there is a powerful meaning behind it. After something painful and tragic happens it's normal to be negatively affected by it, but you can't cry over it forever. There's nothing you can do to change what happened whats done is done. You can't hold on to the negative things that happen it gets you no where. Everyone else moves on and so should you. You don't want to be left behind all alone, gotta get back up can't let your colors fade away till the point that there just gray. 

Poor Kid =/